Unsettled Heart

Along with doing the book study for Made to Crave I am also doing the devotional that goes for 60 days.

Day one was about praying to be unsettled.  I was kind of disturbed at first when I started reading this, but as I continued to read I realized what a wonderful prayer that would be.  When we reach the early years of adulthood all you hear is about settling down.  For me that meant gainful employment and the urging to find someone get married and start a family.  It is a good thing to be settled as far as that part of our lives goes.  But what about the spiritual side of our lives.  When I think of someone being settled in their faith I think of someone who isn't growing.  They go to church and partake in all the right things and appear to be what should be a growing Christians goal.  Through this devotional I realized that I don't want to be settled in my faith.  I want God to unsettle me in the areas that He wants me to work on.  One of those for me is the way I eat.  I don't want that to become such a focus in my life that it takes me away from what God wants for me.

So I am starting to pray for God to unsettle me so that I can continue to grow into who  God wants me to be.  I pray that for you too!

Made To Crave

Our ladies group at church is do a book study on Made To Crave by Lysa Terkeurst.  I am excited and nervous all at the same time.  The study is divided into 6 sessions each with a 20 minute video.  I am going to share what I am learning along the way.  The first section is about going from Deprivation to Empowerment.  I started thinking about Deprivation today.  When I think about that word I think about the some of the teenagers I see on talk shows who have issues and about some I have heard about through friends or know.  You constantly hear stories of how kids feel entitled to have certain things and do things and if they can't they are Sooooo deprived.  That word has such a bad connotation to it.  But I grew up without having certain things I wanted and didn't get to do everything that I wanted.  I don't remember once feeling like I was deprived of anything.  I wonder if that was because of the church environment I was raised in or something inherent in me.  Where is it written that you are supposed to get everything you want and that it is ok to act so disrespectfully when you don't get it.  I hear the way some of the younger generation speak to their parents and I cringe.  My mom and dad would have never tolerated that from me and I certainly don't get how parents are so tolerant of that behavior.  What does that have to do with the topic?  Well it made me start to think of our attitude to God.  How I struggle with my weight and my spiritual walk.  How sometimes I go from feeling like what is the point of trying if I can't seem to get anywhere; to the feeling of if I am a child of God why shouldn't this be easier and a guarantee.    I should have to struggle with watching what I eat or dealing with depression and feelings of worthlessness.  Kind of amazing what thoughts one little word can sprout isn't it!! 

I use food as a security blanket.  I have been the same weight give or take 10 pounds for probably 30 years.  Not bad when you look at the grand scheme of things.  The problem is that for myself I have also been about 50 pounds over weight for that same amount of time.  Now that really puts things in perspective for me.  It is easier to look at my weight as an achievement (not being more overweight) than as something that isn't right.  So I need to figure out what is my biggest hole in my healthy eating goal and plug that sucker up.  Instead of going to God for comfort and stress relief.  I go to food.  I have done that for so long, it will be a definite challenge to go to prayer and seek God instead of food.  But that is what I am trying to do.  I need to change my mindset from feeling deprived when I don't get to eat cheese corn or brownies to feeling empowered that I don't feel weighted down and discouraged by what I ate.

Somehow I don't think this is going to be easy...  but since doing something is better than wallowing where I am; I am stepping out in faith that by this time next year I will be a healthier me.  Maybe it won't show in how much I weigh.  But finding my heart seeking God more than food will be a much better gift than a smaller number on the dreaded scale.

Happy New Year!!

Wow!! Where did the year go.  Hard to believe that today is the start of another year.  So much has changed in our lives in the last year.  Dean and I have grown to love where we live and the church family we have become a part of is WONDERFUL!!  Our faith has definitely grown in the past year.  God has truly blessed us by bringing us to Oregon, WI.  We have met so many new people and have become apart of a group of people who have a heart for God.  It is is exciting to look back and see the changes that have taken place.  My biggest blessing was to see my husband get baptized.  I can honestly say I never thought that would happen.  The changes I have seen in Dean in the last year are wonderful.  He has grown so much in his faith and love for God. 

That is not to say there haven't been struggles and wondering why things are happening, but in retrospect things worked out the way God wanted them to and we both grew in the process.  It is hard to move on each year leaving loved ones behind.  This year will mark 3 years (in July) that my sister passed away.  My heart aches for her during the holidays.  We had always talked about going to see the Globe Trotters on New Year's Eve, but never quite got around to it.  One of these days I would like to do that.  I miss my family very much, but knowing that they are at home with the Lord makes it easier to deal with.  What a family reunion I will have when I get to heaven (not that I am wanting that to happen anytime soon).

It has also been a year of growth for me and a time of reconnecting with a dear friend and making many new ones.  Dean and I participated in an Inter-Varsity program where we were able to meet three exchange students.  We met three wonderful young ladies that we have grown to love.  Dean and I have had the ability to spend some quality time with the girls, having them in our home and sharing outings with them.  Zhu is from China and is going for her Masters in Electrical Engineering.  Meng-Shin is from Taiwan and is pursuing Psychology.  Luz is from Mexico and studying Computer Sciences.  Luz just went back home to her family in Mexico and is missed already.  I am so grateful for the opportunity to meet these strong and courageous young women.  FaceBook will help us to keep in contact with them so that we will not loose touch because of distance.

This is the time of year that people tend to make resolutions.  I have always hated that because it always seems to set you up to fail.  This year I just want to become a better person to grow in my faith.  What that will entail I am not sure, but I am sure the journey will be exciting.  Hopefully not too exciting.  I am getting older and too much excitement probably isn't good for me.  I am also sure there will be trials and moments when I will sit and wonder WHY.  But that is okay.  God doesn't mind if we ask why as long as we are willing to grow and become the person he wants us to be.  I found a bible reading plan that will take me 2 years to complete.  I tried doing a yearly plan, but quickly became overwhelmed.

Well I want to close this post with a short prayer.  I hope you don't mind.  If you do just skip to the last sentence I won't take offense.    Lord thank you so much for the things you have done for Dean and I this past year.  It was rough at times, but we came through in your arms.  You have been so faithful to us.  I wish I could say the same, but I know that sometimes my faith has not been what is should have.  I feel like I have fallen short sometimes, but You love me in spite of myself.  There has been so much heartache in the world this past year.  Shootings, violence, and war.  I pray that some measure of peace will be forth coming this year.  Please help me to seek you more and to strive after the things that you would have me to do.  Thank you in advance for the things you will bring into our lives this coming year, both the good things and the struggles.  I love you with all my heart and am grateful for another year to serve you.  Amen

Well Happy New Year everyone.  Not sure what this year will bring, but thanks for tagging along on my journey.  God Bless!!!

Coming Home by Stacy Hawkins Adams

This is the first book that I have read by this author. I liked the writing style and the character development. Traveling along on the journey with Dayna was interesting to say the least. Even though I kind of sensed where the story would wind up I enjoyed the journey.

Dayna is single and dating a wonderful man when out of the blue her past shows up at her door. This past arrived in the form of her ex-husband with a bouquet of roses. Brent had been trying to reach her for a couple of months now via letter, but Dayna didn't want to have anything to do with him since during their marriage he cheated on her with a friend. He eventually married the woman he cheated with. Brent wanted to apologize for the way he had treated her and to share some news. I kind of new what that news would be, but it didn't take anything away from the story.

Following Dayna on this journey of forgiveness and discovering the lessons that God wanted to teach her was touching and encouraging to say the least. I know this is fiction, but I can't help but be amazed at how God can use stories and real life situations to enlighten our hearts and minds and to show us things we might need to hear, even if the particular area doesn't pertain to what we are dealing with

She Did What She Could by Elisa Morgan

She Did What She Could. Five very powerful words. Elisa Morgan uses these five little words to show all of us that it doesn't take grand gestures to accomplish what God wants us to do. First we need to give ourselves a break. Lay off of the self criticism. We are adequate enough to accomplish what God wants us to do. It doesn't have to be a big thing. Maybe just getting a meal for a homeless person. Giving a little extra tip for a waiter or waitress. Offering to do some simple task for someone in need. It doesn't take alot to make a difference.

If I do what I can; if you do what you can; if we do what we can, imagine what changes could be made in this world. A couple cans of food for a food pantry is something pretty easy to do and is a tremendous help. This book and the examples amongst it pages, challenged me to do more. It is so easy for me to tell myself that I couldn't possibly make a difference, or that I can't do certain things. But I can. I just can't imagine how this world could change if we thought outside of ourselves more and reached out in simple ways to show God's love for others.

It won't take long to read, and it isn't a very expensive book. It does have a very powerful message to everyone. I plan on do my best to do what I can!!

The Daddy Surprise by Ginny Aiken

I loved this book. I enjoy the author's mystery series as well.

Lucie and her daughter Chloe have just moved to Lyndon Point. Lucie has been searching for Chloe's father ever since their summer fling. Chloe is a result of that fling. Lucie tried to find him after she realized she was pregnant, but since Ryder didn't use his proper name when he was with her she had no idea how to find him. Lucie used a shorter version of her name too, so when Ryder tried to find her, he came to a dead end.

Ryder is the mayor of Lyndon Point and is just a little overwhelmed with the news that he has a daughter. Not only does he now have a daughter, but Lucie is trying to buy a house that Ryder won't let go of because of a mistaken notion of loyalty to a sister that he can't even find. Will Ryder be able to set aside his control tendencies in order to open up his heart to the possibility of a future with this beautiful little girl and her mom.

Ginny Aiken has the ability to wrap you up in her stories. The characters jump off the page and endear themselves to you. I couldn't help but cheer for Lucie in her attempts to help Ryder see clear to leave his past behind and move on to a wonderful future with the women he loves.

A very good read!!

Like Dandelion Dust by Karen Kingsbury

I loved this book, even if it made me cry. I haven't read very much by Karen Kingsbury, but I intend to read several if not all sometime in the future.

Molly and Jack seem to have the ideal life. They have a beautiful son named Joey who is the light of their life. Joey is almost five and although he isn't theirs by blood, they couldn't love him anymore than if he were. Molly is especially happy because her sister Beth and her family have just moved to the area so they can be close again. Beth and Bill are Christians and try to encourage Molly and Jack that God is important, but until Molly and Jack realize that the life they have is falling down around them in pieces, God just doesn't seem that important to them.

This is a story of what a childlike faith can do. Praying for things to be according to the will of God isn't the easiest thing in the world to pray for, especially when it could meant that someone you love might be taken away from you. Through Molly and Jack you will see what a simple seed of faith can do. This obviously doesn't mean that everything will always go the way we want, but it does help to understand being in the right attitude with Him.

Very touching story. Characters seemed so real. Loved it!!!

The Time Keeper by Mitch Albom

I picked up this book with great anticipation looking forward to turning each page. When I started reading I was frustrated with the style the author chose. I liked his other fiction stories and was expecting to find the same style amongst the pages. When I found a totally different style and was disappointed. But I decided to keep going and this story is so worth the effort.

The story follows Dor, Victor and Sarah. Dor lived during the early Bible times during the time of the tower of Babel being built. Dor has an obsessive desire to figure out how long it takes for things to happen and invents ways to count and determine time. He winds up in a cave as Father Time where he spends eternity having to listen to people pray for more time. Victor is a wealthy man who is dying from cancer. He faces it the way he does everything else; he wants to find a way to beat death. He doesn't care what his wife thinks and is determined to find a way to live longer. Sarah is a teenager experiencing love for the first time. Her love interest doesn't seem to be as interested in her and makes her live so intolerable that she wants to end it.

Dor arrives on the scene and shows them what comes after they have left this world. He shows them that there is reason God limits our days. To make each one precious. What a wonderful lesson to learn. It is amazing how much time we can waste wishing for more time. Time is precious and we need to take advantage of what we are given.

Death of a Red Heroine by Qui Xiaolong

I wasn't sure if I was going to like this, but I did. There are a few things that seem somewhat awkward, but over all very good.

A young woman is found wrapped in plastic and discarded in a channel. It was determined that the identity of the dead woman was the National Model Worker Guan Hongying. Parts of her name means red and hero which is where the title of the book cam from. Chief Inspector Chen is assigned the case. He is the head of the special case squad, and the political implications of this murder put this case on his desk. The thinking was that because of his status in the Party he would not examine the evidence to closely or not stir up the higher ups.

Chen discovers that the lead suspect is the son of one of the High Cadre. This is definitely not going to be an easy case to prove. His future and the future of Inspector Yu are on the line in this mystery set in China during the time right after Tienanmen Square. Trying to do their jobs both men wind up stepping on toes and get assigned to different special assignments until the higher ups decide whether to go after the main suspect or not. Chen won't give up and secretly sets about to find the evidence to prove his case.

It was well written and the political aspects where interesting.

Hello!?!

Many times during the past week or so I have wondered about many things.  I know that God has a purpose for me.  I just wish that sometimes that purpose was somewhat clearer to me.  I know that part of what is bothering me is my shoulder.  I don't understand many things, but pain and illness seem to boggle my mind the most.  I know when you can get past certain trials in life that things become clearer as to why they were put in our lives to begin with.  What bothers me the most is that the places that I like to serve at church are being affected.  I love taking care of the babies and little kids at church.  Working in the nursery has been apart of my life as long as I can remember.  The pain in my shoulder flares up at unexpected times and there have been several times that I have almost dropped things because of it.  Didn't think it would be a good idea to take a chance with a child.  Hurts my heart to step back from those ministries.  Hoping that I can return to them soon.  But then I see that God has brought other things into my life that are just as fulfilling and can be a ministry also.  It is hard to see a change in the path of your life but knowing that God's hand is in it makes it easier.  Help me to be patient Lord.  Help me to see what you want for me.  Use my gifts to serve you.