Consistency

I haven't really blogged for awhile about what God has been teaching me.  There is a good reason for that.  Lately I haven't really been seeking out God.  I belong to a group on FaceBook that consists of all women.  We share prayer requests and challenges that we are facing.  It is a secure place to share some of the deeper needs of your heart, there is not judging, just open hearts and minds. 

In the past several weeks I have noticed that the ladies in the group have been posting about wanting consistency in seeking out quiet time with the Lord.  Time to read the bible and to seek Him in prayer.  I have been nodding right along with them.  I want that too.  I have the time.  I am a housewife and spend the majority of my time at home puttering around doing the basics: laundry, cleaning and cooking.  So I don't have the excuse of a job or children schedules to keep me from what I seek.  So why can't I find the time to spend with my Savior.  I have no excuse!!  But yet I try to make them anyway.

About a week ago I went through a box in our spare room and took out all our books and wedged them somehow into our book shelves.  I found a couple of books by Charles Swindoll that I have had for years.  So I decided to pull one out and start to go through it.  The book I chose was Growing Strong In The Seasons of Life.  So with renewed ambition I took it downstairs and placed it on the kitchen table along with the bible study I had started on Jonah (actually barely started), and the book I had gotten to read for the summer book discussion group for church.  It has sat there for a week until today.  We are currently in a small financial crisis and the outlook at first glance was catastrophic.  I reached out to the ladies in my FaceBook group (some of whom I haven't personally met) and asked for prayer.  It was a relief to know that these wonder ladies would pray for us.  God would provide!  It is amazing how you can reach out and lay something before God with one hand and as soon as it is laid down your other hand is reaching out to grab it back.  I could here God telling me to calm down and look more clearly,  that things probably aren't as bad as I think.

I reached out is desperation to our church and some help was provided.  I examined our food supply and things aren't as dire as I thought.  There is still some need there, but not as bad as I thought.  There was a prescription need which might not be as imminent as I thought.  The cats are still a concern, but God showed me, through a reminder by a dear friend, that my needs were being met before I even knew we had it.  So in the midst of my turmoil I started cleaning hoping that I could expel some of this pent up frustration.  I began cleaning off the kitchen table and low and behold there was that Charles Swindoll book again.  Peaking out from under my bible.  A gentle reminder perhaps of what I had decided to start and didn't!!!  Probably!!  So I sat down and opened the cover and started turning the pages.

The first section is Winter A Season of Reverence (talk about timely).  The introduction talked about winter and how cold and barren things can be.  How shadowy and dark things appear.   At the end it asked this:  Is it winter right now in the season of your life?  Are you feeling depressed... alone... overlooked... spiritually on "hold"... cold... barren?  beginning to wonder if your sole will ever thaw?  Entertaining doubts that behind those thick, gray clouds there exists a personal, caring God?   This is a kind of smack me between the eyes moment.  I have been feeling like this to a degree.

The first entry for this Winter section had to do with Consistency and how important it is in our walk with God.    I especially liked how it was described.  Consistency: It's the jewel worth wearing...  It's the anchor worth weighing...  It's the thread worth weaving...  It's the battle worth winning.

My first thought was how strange that the first thing I read is about what I struggle with the most.  Really!!  Why am I surprised that God would have something I needed?  When will I learn.  The one thing I and others seem to be struggling with the most is the first thing I read about.  It is nice to know that I am not alone in striving to be consistent.  I want to be a stronger Christian, able to go with the flow when struggles and difficult times happen.  I want to never doubt that God will provide my needs.  It is so hard to be thankful during a difficult situation.  I think I needed a reminder of that.  Although I probably wouldn't have minded learning it in a different way.

Lord thank you for today and the difficulty I have experienced.  Thank you for the provisions you have already made and those you will continue to provide.  Help me to seek you first and foremost.  I want to be consistent in my walk with you, but sometimes it is so hard to be.  Thank you for the lesson you taught me today!