Be patient with this post. I do have a point. I can remember when I
was little feeling like I didn't belong, I was a mistake, an after
thought, in the way and not of much value. If my parents felt that way I
couldn't understand why people wanted to be my friend (I still have
problems with that). I didn't feel that what I said or did mattered.
No matter how much I tried I couldn't meet some invisible standard that I
didn't understand or even know why it was there. I have problems feeling worthy of friends and wondering why Dean would even want to marry me.
I woke up this morning feeling unlovable, unworthy, disgusted with the
fact my weight is going in the wrong direction and waking up with a
headache to start off my day. It is hard to fathom in these times that
God does see us and knows where we are at. God apparently needed me to
know that this morning because on the way home from dropping Dean off at
work the song "Something worth dying for" came on the radio. I am not
just flesh and bone. I am something beautiful. I am seen and known. I
am someone worth dying for. Not an easy concept to grasp for this puny
brain. God knew I needed to be reminded of this with the way I was
feeling. Almost didn't have the radio on on the way home. Needless to
say I cried. I don't like to share that I feel this way alot of the
time, because it makes me feel like I am fishing for compliments.
Compliments can make me feel worse not better. I know I need to be
reminded that God sees me in my puny little life. I just wanted to
share this in case someone else was feeling the same way.
YOU
ARE MORE THAN FLESH AND BONES. YOU ARE SEEN AND YOU ARE KNOW. YOU ARE
SOMETHING BEAUTIFUL. YOU ARE SOMEONE WORTH DYING FOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!
