Are you there? Because I can't feel you right now. Sometimes I wish I was one of those lucky people who has the ability to feel your presence more. I know in my head that Your here, but sometimes I wish I could feel your arms holding me tight. I loved it when my dad would give me a hug. He didn't do it often, but when he did I felt so loved. He never spoke of how much he loved me, and back then it really hurt. Now that I am older I know that in so many little ways - without words - he showed me he loved me, that I mattered.
Sometimes I don't feel like I matter. Does my life have a purpose? I feel like I am drowning in loneliness and I can't hold on much longer. I know that I am feeling sorry for myself and that it will pass. I know I am feeling this way because Bible Study will be over next week and Grow Group won't be meeting. The thought of not having that lifeline on Tuesday mornings makes me feel empty.
God please help me to sense Your presence and to know beyond a shadow of a doubt that you are here. I know this feeling will pass, just as surely as it will probably come back. Life rolls on and I need to go with the flow. Thanks for understanding where my heart is.
Love Lori
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