Grief

I have started attending a class on grief provided by our church.  I have only been to one class, but what an emotional one it was.  It is hard to deal with grief, especially when you have others that come and go in your life that question why you are still dealing with it.  I have come to realize that those people that say things like "Get over it already" or "You should be feeling better by now": either haven't suffered the loss of a loved one or haven't dealt with it themselves and we are a reflection of what they are feeling and they don't want to deal with it.

I have dealt with alot of loss.  My dad died in 87 and there was alot of unresolved feelings on my part that I had to try and cope with it.  In 2000 my mom died.  Her loss crippled my sister to the point that I had to move back home to live with her.  Her lack of being able to cope didn't allow me to grieve because I was always taking care of her.  I was close to my sister and sometimes this put stress on our relationship.  Most recently, July 4th of 2010, my sister died.  I was devastated.  She was living with us at the time and Dean and I had no clue that she was as sick as she was.  She had cancer that had spread and she didn't even show any symptoms until a few weeks before we found out.  Well I take that back she complained of gas pains that wouldn't go away, but that was nothing new for her.  So her loss was very overwhelming for me.  I still ache for the emptiness that she left behind.  I have another sister, but we are not close.  When I try and talk to her about Dee she starts saying mean things about her and it makes me angry so we don't talk about it at all.

I am hoping this class will give me the tools I will need to cope with the losses I have already have, and help me cope alot better with the ones that will be coming.